


In the Event of My Unexpected Demise

by Odile (Odileheroin_e)



Series: Letters to Bioware (emotional vent for shocking twists in video games) [1]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/F, Letters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-26
Updated: 2016-01-26
Packaged: 2018-05-16 09:33:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5823502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Odileheroin_e/pseuds/Odile
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Codex: In the Event of My Unexpected Demise</p><p>A letter written by the Lady Inquisitor Lavellan as a form of emotional testament to her companions, should she be forced to meet the Maker before all could be said.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In the Event of My Unexpected Demise

**Author's Note:**

> I've been wanting to write some ff on the Dragon Age universe - may this serve as a sort of prelude to that. Based on my 1st Inquisitor (duh), a female Lavellan romancing Josephine. Note that at the time I began writing I had not finished the game or any of the DLC, and you might even be able to determine which quests I have yet to complete at this point. Anyway, the point of the fic is that the Inquisitor only knows as much as I did at that point in the story and things are complicated and she wants to leave some words behind; just in case she never gets to clear things out with some people or never gets to say some of the things that she's (I've) been thinking but are yet unsaid.
> 
> EDIT 15th Feb 2016: How does this have so many kudos?????? my other bioware rant letters don't get any, what's happening`??? I'm not complaining though, keep them coming if you like what you see, thanks to everyone!
> 
> also: a letter to Solas, post-Trespasser, now out! check it out in the collection above!

_A letter addressed to the Inquisition, written in a delicate but steady hand:_

 

 

I, Inquisitor Lavellan, write this letter in 9:42 Dragon, to be opened and read by the leaders of the Inquisition and companions of the Inquisitor in the event of my unexpected demise. The purpose of this document is to pass on words of farewell that may have been rendered impossible by my disappearance on a field operation (making me missing in action) or the sudden nature of my death.

 

Cassandra, my Sword -

If I was ever iron, you were always steel. Your unfailing support and constant friendship have been subjects of both pride and gratitude to me, and you never neglected to share your warrior's wisdom when I asked for your advice. Andraste guide you in your mission to restore the Seekers - I could not be prouder that despite the evil we have known and the setbacks we have endured, your faith remains steadfast. You may now have the ruins of another Inquisition for the nest of the new Seekers. Go in peace, then, and Maker be with you.

 

Dorian, my Brother -

You walk the path of truth, in both your personal life and in your quest to break the cruel illusion your homeland lives under; I have always admired you for that. I only wish I had said "me too, bro, don't worry about it" instead of "I'm sorry" back then. Well, perhaps that wasn't exactly the time for jokes; but I regret not expressing solidarity when I could have. Should have. I wish you success, both in your quest for the truth and in love.

P.S. Do me a favour and take that fruit basket to Alexius for me. I know you weren't indifferent to his death, especially knowing that my hands brought it about, and I do owe it to him. If you still remember that old joke. Our first one in, fact. I never forgot. We were a match made in heaven, I knew it right there.

 

Vivienne, my Queen -

I made so many missteps when in conversation with you that I am not sure if I dare with confidence claim that I have won your trust back. I don't know if that speaks more of my fear or of my admiration of you - though I believe that in this case they may well overlap. Your presence in the Inquisition has been an invaluable addition of majesty and great confidence and authority. You made a lasting impression - to the Inquisition, to me. I bow before you, First Enchantress Madame de Fer. The Inquisitor will forever be your humble servant.

 

Varric, my Dirty Poet -

I want to thank you for so many things. Thank you for making Cassandra happy. Thank you for standing with us. I deemed it necessary that I would not forget your lie, but it has long since been forgiven.

Hawke. You should curse me to an eternity in the darkest corners of the Fade for even reminding you, but this needs to be done; it's Justice. All I have done, I have done aspiring only to make Justice happen. So I must do Justice to you and Hawke, too, and the truth of things is that I have regretted nothing as much as I regret letting Hawke have his way in the Fade. All I could think was his words about the restoration of the Wardens and I...

Truth to be told, I believed he deserved a heroic death.

So I took Stroud and let the Wardens be allowed another chance. Because I believed that they deserved it. Because of Justice. Because those who might not be able to demand Justice for themselves would need the Wardens one day. All things considered, my reason tells me I made the only right choice, and yet I can't banish the hollow, horrible feeling that I've made a grave error. That all I really achieved was unforgivable injustice, to you, to Hawke. I beg your forgiveness without truly expecting to be granted it, even believing that it might not be fully in your power to grant. Yet -

I'm sorry.

And thank you. For everything, for every moment. Every quip, every arrow. Thank you.

 

Solas, my Wanderer - 

Thank you for letting me lose myself in your tales of fallen empires. I have learned so much and seen so much beauty through your words alone. Don't waste that beauty.

 

"Blackwall", if he remains alive -

You are not the man you believe you are. Regardless of who you were, you have come a long way. You made the right choice more than once. Hence it is with a heavy heart that I leave you to the mercy of the Orlesians. Justice... yet again. I want you to know... that I respect you. In the utmost. Despite the terrible crime you committed. I hope that means something to you.

 

Cole, my Compassion -

Your mind, your actions have taught me so much. Keep helping people. I am in your debt for the compassion you helped me understand. You are precious. Never forget.

 

The Iron Bull, my Maul -

I have already apologised for this and I know you'll be frustrated for the mention, but I never quite forgave myself for... you know. You being thrown out of the Qunari and everything. Living as a pariah for our sake. I know - you chose it. And I respect that. Yet I can't help but to feel guilty for depriving you of your kin. No, I'm not sorry to see the Chargers alive and you among them, and it's not the premature death of an alliance with the Qunari that bothers me. It's you. So let me apologise once more and be done with it. I'm sorry.

And thank you. You have always been a stout and faithful supporter. I wouldn't have let you go for anything. I'm glad you're with us. Always was.

 

Morrigan, the Enigmatic -

I hope you didn't mistake my occasional opposition of you for dislike of your person. It isn't, it never was. I might have denied you the Well of Sorrows and had some rough words to accompany that denial, but I have always had respect for you and your abilities. Perhaps I only wished to know a little bit more about you.

 

Sera, my- uh, not mine -

I know that in spite of my best efforts and my genuine liking of you (yes, I did, no grumbling - from anyone in there) we did not always get along. I greatly regret our rows and will always wish I valued you more. I'm sorry.

What I truly regret though is that we never got to see that prank on Cullen's table play out. I never did, anyway. Did you keep it from me?! Now that really is a revenge.

 

Cullen, please ignore that -

I am immensely proud of you. I have only known you for so long, yet I can see that you have come far - since Kirkwall, since Haven, since whenever. I am proud to have had a commander such as you, and I'm proud to have known a person such as you. Maker grant you His Peace and His Light.

 

Leliana, my Left Hand -

To you I have done the greatest violence of all. If none of the previous decisions I made in the pragmatic interest of the Inquisition made me regret not having considered the people involved more carefully, killing Sister Natalie did. So soon after she was dead you changed - or perhaps you had already changed. I am glad if you have (as you said you have) found peace, but I fear that the peace I have thrusted upon you is of a fragile kind. If it ever proves to have been just that, feel free to curse my memory and poison the flowers dedicated to me. 

A sorry and a thank-you to you too, then. It should go without saying that the Inquisition owes the world to you and your spies, but I will say it again. We might have been a very short-lived oranisation without you. Your intelligence will make you a great Divine, and I wish the best of luck to your ambitious reforms. I hope you'll be happy.

 

Josephine, my Love - 

Please, please, protect my corpse from Leliana's wrath. I need only think about her boundless rage at how I could hurt you by dropping dead, and I can definitely feel prickling in the back of my head. That's probably where she'll kick me, so please take care to prevent her from bashing my skull post-mortem.

 

_Here the writing begins to falter slightly._

 

Josie, Josie, my Josie, I hope this letter will never be opened, because I already miss you. I write this in my quarters, alive and well (not counting a somewhat perturbed mind), and I already miss you though Death doesn't separate us yet. I'll come to you soon; I'll kiss you without an explanation and smile at your blushing. I ache to think of leaving you and bringing you unhappiness and sorrow. It makes me hope that if there ever was Love or Maker your tears would call me back to you, as inevitably as the Earth draws a falling leaf to the ground. If I died out of the reach of your arms, know that I last thought of you; if I disappeared to some caves or plains and never came back, know that I never stopped fighting to get back to you.

I kiss the paper I write these words on. That kiss is for you.

 

 

_Signed by Inquisitor Iola Lavellan, the sometime Herald of Andraste, etc._

**Author's Note:**

> I felt the need to vent in some way. Because...... this is my family. my wife and children. and bro.
> 
> (I sort of wanted to address Leliana's part to "My Evil Child", but..... idk, not proper etiquette. anyway she's more like a sister than a daughter. maybe.)


End file.
